“As I let go of the need to arrange my life, the universe brings abundant good to me.” Deepak Chopra’s voice soothes. I am once again in the middle of a 21-day meditation challenge; the fourth and final theme of the year is Abundance. This week, centering thoughts circulate around letting go of expectation and anticipation.
Maybe the silence is what I need right now. “Be in the silence”, I will myself.
When the alarm went off on Thanksgiving morning, it was Tony Bennett I woke up to. "Life is a gift" an aging but familiar voice was crackling out. Half awake, I know the day is going to be filled with missives of gratitude starting with Morning Edition. I was not feeling this gratitude. I turned off the radio and opened my computer; bracing myself for the inbox cluttered with email blasts from various organizations I've donated to, an unoriginal choice of words ("thanksgiving" "giving thanks" or "gratitude") in the subject line. Delete. Delete. Delete.
For years, I try to live by the principle of staying present, keeping it simple. When I’m cranky like today, sometimes this means adopting the simplest tactic of "Stop, look and listen" a jingle lodged in my brain directly from childhood, from Saturday Morning Cartoons and the animated PSAs that would run between Lucky Stars commercials and Batman.
Simple gratitude to me can be sheets on the bed and a ceiling over me. That morning, I wanted a hot bath in one of the Dorchester Hotel's deep marble tubs. And that thought alone, the memory of my last trip to London, mysteriously caused my brain to shift gears to a Kentuckian who lent me a gentlemanly hand with my overhead luggage on the plane back from Maui last February, and the car Vanessa arranged to pick me up at the airport when she got a last minute gig, and couldn't come herself.
I am not alone, I think and smile to myself.
After dinner, my now antiquated LG phone beeps and Deb picks it up. We have the same one, and she says "It's yours", handing it over to me. There is a new email, and I glance at the subject line which states "Happy Thanksgiving". I quickly read through, and then stop and re-read it. The message overwhelms me, filling me with gratitude and awe.
The universe has a way of turning things around. It must be those constant revolutions around the sun, keeping us off kilter.